Beautifully written, and this one really hit home. I moved from Oswego at 58, after 30. We lived in Great Barrington for 10 yrs, yet I never really took off my newcomer mask. So we came home where people already knew all my sides—the good, the bad and the ugly. I do still wonder why I failed in my grand adventure. Maybe because I was caring for my mother; maybe because I’m not a joiner…? I follow your move with interest and, I must admit, a touch of envy.
It must have been different at 58 than at 78. I imagine you had expectations that seem to fade out with age. Also caring for your mother must have determined the entire flow of things. I'm not a joiner either, by the way. I hope you can give up thinking of your sojourn in the Berkshires as a failure. I expect it continues to impact your life back in Oswego.
Quite true about 58-78. Fortunately, I am happy here. Work with young folks at the college, Lake Ontario across the street, as is the campus. All the folks who were still working when we left are now retired and available. So it’s good to be home.
Thanks for your thoughtful words Susie! I was pondering old friends and new friends recently. I'm so grateful I'm old enough to deeply value the gifts of both!
Susie, I’m trying to get out quickly to have my car inspected! But just read this memory of yours and reminds me of my working class relatives. I remember listening , at ten years old, to the stories and laughs as Aunt Betty and Uncle Ray and Uncle Bernie would spin sarcastically, one joke/story after another as they downed a few beers. I was having fun trying to deconstruct the sarcasm!
Hi Susie, Encouraging to read your request! Let me think on these memories! Glad to read yours when I’m able! And you’re a perfect role model of the power of writing! While you’ve moved away, I’m getting to know you even more. You know we met relatively late in your Berkshire years. I am so glad we had the time that we did , writing at the Ramsdell! Love to you! Tara
I feel I have changed as the decades have gone by and I’m still changing, so what there is for others to know and experience of me isn’t the same as it was long ago. And I’m not at all sure anyone besides my husband has seen all of the good, the bad and the ugly of me. And that’s just as well for all of us.
Your transparency is a marvel, Susie. On another note, I very recently went to a reunion for the first time in 50 years, of people from Germiston, S. Africa. I used to say that Germiston was the armpit of S. Africa. It was in proximity to Johannesburg, as Hamilton is to Toronto. It was wild seeing people for the first time in over fifty years, most of whom were my friend's kid brothers or sisters. There was much laughter, noise and great joy at the reunion. And much reminiscing. I am still very close to friends from what we called primary school, and they know my childhood secrets. How precious are old and well-worn friendships.
No volunteering with the Sustainability office. Working with student interns in redesign of interpretive signage for lakeshore and in the permaculture garden. No more classroom teaching for me.
We have both been through a great relocation recently. The Challenge of staying connected to old friends, and family is great, but I’m finding it incredibly rewarding to make new friends in Bend. It’s a chance to stretch myself and put myself out there in new ways and venues. i’ve been forcing myself to grow and connect with people who have similar interests, and the results have been extremely satisfying. In some ways, I feel as if I can be more myself than in my previous life.
This is really good news...for you, but also for anyone in that situation of upheaval. You have my greatest admiration. I can see where in certain circumstances leaving your old self behind can be liberating. But then you continued to live in or near where you'd been born and grown up until recently. That's a whole other story.
This is excellent not only because it's true but also because of the way you reveal so many vulnerable parts of yourself into a relatable whole. Thank you!
Thank you, Rebecca. Vulnerability is the name of the game. It's interesting to try to arrive at the sweet spot between being closed off and oversharing.
Someone I interviewed recently, who had relocated after retirement, told me he found it hard to make new friends, so he has concentrated instead on renewing connections with friends from the past with whom he had lost touch.
Wow wow wow…..I always thought I was a good writer…..until I started reading yours. Thank you for another delightful journey through your -so very honest- thoughts.
Beautifully written, and this one really hit home. I moved from Oswego at 58, after 30. We lived in Great Barrington for 10 yrs, yet I never really took off my newcomer mask. So we came home where people already knew all my sides—the good, the bad and the ugly. I do still wonder why I failed in my grand adventure. Maybe because I was caring for my mother; maybe because I’m not a joiner…? I follow your move with interest and, I must admit, a touch of envy.
It must have been different at 58 than at 78. I imagine you had expectations that seem to fade out with age. Also caring for your mother must have determined the entire flow of things. I'm not a joiner either, by the way. I hope you can give up thinking of your sojourn in the Berkshires as a failure. I expect it continues to impact your life back in Oswego.
Quite true about 58-78. Fortunately, I am happy here. Work with young folks at the college, Lake Ontario across the street, as is the campus. All the folks who were still working when we left are now retired and available. So it’s good to be home.
That sounds perfect. I'm very into proximity and having a great lake across the street is about as good as it gets. Are you teaching writing?
Thanks for your thoughtful words Susie! I was pondering old friends and new friends recently. I'm so grateful I'm old enough to deeply value the gifts of both!
I agree wholeheartedly. There are many benefits of getting old and living out one's life in community or communities is certainly one of them.
thanks for the good read, once again. And as an old friend once reminded me, "You can't make new old friends."
I'm going to have to steal that!
Susie, I’m trying to get out quickly to have my car inspected! But just read this memory of yours and reminds me of my working class relatives. I remember listening , at ten years old, to the stories and laughs as Aunt Betty and Uncle Ray and Uncle Bernie would spin sarcastically, one joke/story after another as they downed a few beers. I was having fun trying to deconstruct the sarcasm!
That sounds very lively. I'd love to read your rendition of those jokes and stories.
Hi Susie, Encouraging to read your request! Let me think on these memories! Glad to read yours when I’m able! And you’re a perfect role model of the power of writing! While you’ve moved away, I’m getting to know you even more. You know we met relatively late in your Berkshire years. I am so glad we had the time that we did , writing at the Ramsdell! Love to you! Tara
I have fond memories of that time together. I hope you’re exploring the rich earth of your memory and finding the words to enliven it.
I feel I have changed as the decades have gone by and I’m still changing, so what there is for others to know and experience of me isn’t the same as it was long ago. And I’m not at all sure anyone besides my husband has seen all of the good, the bad and the ugly of me. And that’s just as well for all of us.
I'm inclined to think of some essential quality that remains over time, but then I remember that Buddhists don't believe in the self. It's perplexing.
Your transparency is a marvel, Susie. On another note, I very recently went to a reunion for the first time in 50 years, of people from Germiston, S. Africa. I used to say that Germiston was the armpit of S. Africa. It was in proximity to Johannesburg, as Hamilton is to Toronto. It was wild seeing people for the first time in over fifty years, most of whom were my friend's kid brothers or sisters. There was much laughter, noise and great joy at the reunion. And much reminiscing. I am still very close to friends from what we called primary school, and they know my childhood secrets. How precious are old and well-worn friendships.
So there is a whole community of people from Germiston in Toronto? Wild. Sounds like fun.
No volunteering with the Sustainability office. Working with student interns in redesign of interpretive signage for lakeshore and in the permaculture garden. No more classroom teaching for me.
We have both been through a great relocation recently. The Challenge of staying connected to old friends, and family is great, but I’m finding it incredibly rewarding to make new friends in Bend. It’s a chance to stretch myself and put myself out there in new ways and venues. i’ve been forcing myself to grow and connect with people who have similar interests, and the results have been extremely satisfying. In some ways, I feel as if I can be more myself than in my previous life.
This is really good news...for you, but also for anyone in that situation of upheaval. You have my greatest admiration. I can see where in certain circumstances leaving your old self behind can be liberating. But then you continued to live in or near where you'd been born and grown up until recently. That's a whole other story.
This is excellent not only because it's true but also because of the way you reveal so many vulnerable parts of yourself into a relatable whole. Thank you!
Thank you, Rebecca. Vulnerability is the name of the game. It's interesting to try to arrive at the sweet spot between being closed off and oversharing.
Susie, KILLER GREAT!!!!!! zingy guy
Thinking of you back in the Berks.
Beautiful and thoughtful.
Someone I interviewed recently, who had relocated after retirement, told me he found it hard to make new friends, so he has concentrated instead on renewing connections with friends from the past with whom he had lost touch.
It's a challenge. I feel like I'm learning so much about who I want to connect with and how to go about doing it.
Wow wow wow…..I always thought I was a good writer…..until I started reading yours. Thank you for another delightful journey through your -so very honest- thoughts.
It feels good to tell it like it is, doesn't it? I didn't know you were writing on Substack. Will check it out asap.
Somehow I was referred to Patricia's Substack and thought it was you. Sorry if I confused you.
No worries
Nailed it. Great piece.
There's always something out there that wants writing.