I so much relate to the languishing mood you so well describe. And the endless rain has been part of it, and being painfully aware that Californians would revel In downpours right now.
The cows don’t know that they don’t know they’re alive. The fine points of despair elude them. They haven’t developed the gift for despairing about despair. And that’s my problem in a nutshell. I know too much, but also absolutely nothing.
What a fine mystical comment dear Susie. Thank you for your reflections on this time in the world. Sometimes you hold a mirror to the collective unconscious, I think!
Yup--well said! I've struggled with "what's next?" for years--all the while knowing it's a problem for us lucky ones. Now I can take off my mask, but still...Thanks.
This was an aha moment for me. Everything you’ve written, have been feeling in equal measure. I wondered if others felt this way and it is almost a bit comforting to know others do. Losing my father just before the pandemic ( thank God) and selling a childhood home and all its contents of 66 years, I naively thought we would be moving on. Especially after 9 years of taking care of my dad took 9 years of my life I thought I was now free at 70 to downsize and travel. The pandemic made that impossible. Now what? Grief took its place. Grieving for my past and what may never be again, for the world so topsy turvy, for the possibilities of my own life. Time is so short now, I feel caught between despair and resignation in a seemingly never ending loop. Where do I go from here?
Thank you for eloquently putting into words what many of us are feeling.
The context is so important. Every person who has experienced the pandemic and its aftermath also has her own story, her own struggles, independent of what we've been through as a culture. I'm grateful to you for your willingness to open up about all the loss you've experienced. Maybe that's part of the larger message. Lockdown was long. Isolation was real. Every time we touch another person with our humanity some level of woundedness is addressed. It's a start.
I so much relate to the languishing mood you so well describe. And the endless rain has been part of it, and being painfully aware that Californians would revel In downpours right now.
Thanks for your writing
Always honest and heartfelt and evocative
Thanks, Ani. I'm grateful that I was able to put words on it. On my way to California next week with more than a little trepidation.
Hi Susie,
I wish you a safe trip and an enjoyable time in that still wonderful state of California.
The cows don’t know that they don’t know they’re alive. The fine points of despair elude them. They haven’t developed the gift for despairing about despair. And that’s my problem in a nutshell. I know too much, but also absolutely nothing.
What a fine mystical comment dear Susie. Thank you for your reflections on this time in the world. Sometimes you hold a mirror to the collective unconscious, I think!
Not everyone will be reflected in the mirror, of course, Jinx. Sometimes its cracked or foggy, but I do seem to get what some people are feeling.
Yup--well said! I've struggled with "what's next?" for years--all the while knowing it's a problem for us lucky ones. Now I can take off my mask, but still...Thanks.
Not sure if you're saying we're the lucky ones because we survived the pandemic or because we can afford to experience malaise. Either way....I agree.
Yes. Both those things.
This was an aha moment for me. Everything you’ve written, have been feeling in equal measure. I wondered if others felt this way and it is almost a bit comforting to know others do. Losing my father just before the pandemic ( thank God) and selling a childhood home and all its contents of 66 years, I naively thought we would be moving on. Especially after 9 years of taking care of my dad took 9 years of my life I thought I was now free at 70 to downsize and travel. The pandemic made that impossible. Now what? Grief took its place. Grieving for my past and what may never be again, for the world so topsy turvy, for the possibilities of my own life. Time is so short now, I feel caught between despair and resignation in a seemingly never ending loop. Where do I go from here?
Thank you for eloquently putting into words what many of us are feeling.
Nancy
The context is so important. Every person who has experienced the pandemic and its aftermath also has her own story, her own struggles, independent of what we've been through as a culture. I'm grateful to you for your willingness to open up about all the loss you've experienced. Maybe that's part of the larger message. Lockdown was long. Isolation was real. Every time we touch another person with our humanity some level of woundedness is addressed. It's a start.