We were walking along Main Street in Stockbridge, heading west towards the cemetery, not en route to visit the gravesites of any people who once were, but to bathe in the near perfect now.
It is empathy, I think, but more than that, it is acceptance. In Buddhism the acceptance would be of the “Isness” of it. Acceptance could at first offend a code, a belief, a priority or even goodness itself but I don’t think it ever makes things harder. A patient of mine pushed back on this. She asked if she should accept the holocaust. Of course this like the destruction of the environment, abandonment of children, the Supreme Court- the list is endless are not acceptable. The practice that I think that you are writing about is what happens in us when, nevertheless, we do.
I'm finding it provocative that several people have mentioned that my remarks on empathy call for something else, something more. See Joel's comment below. I was thinking of the experience in more relational terms. I appreciate what you're saying about accepting what happened to me and I'm intrigued by my discovery that something happened to the insects as well.
Dearest Susie. This is another of your far ranging, mind and heart opening reflections that has me, from one sentence to another, smiling and then tearful. How I love companioning you in your thoughtful experiences of your daily life. You are so honest, so willing to learn. And so you teach me. In glorious language and imagery. Thank you.
I think this is part of empathy, understanding why someone might behave as they did, even if it harms you. Not hating them for just being who they are, they can't help it, can they? It's their nature. And all of us have a nature that might offend another. An essential step further, which you touched on, is grace - not punishing them for the harm they caused, either by lashing out in revenge or by holding hate in your heart. It doesn't lessen your wound, but it eases the burden you carry, keeping you from bitterness and resentment.
It's really true, Joel, that not holding on to hate lessens the burden one carries. I'm finding this even with my own body. If I feel compassion for my hip when it hurts instead of being angry at it, the hurt softens.
It's just a new perspective, Don. I'm not trying to be holier than thou....but I really did learn something from the experience. I imagined myself invaded by something loud that was trying to kill me and it gave me pause.
I have nothing to add. You said it!
I can feel it percolating in your brain.
It is empathy, I think, but more than that, it is acceptance. In Buddhism the acceptance would be of the “Isness” of it. Acceptance could at first offend a code, a belief, a priority or even goodness itself but I don’t think it ever makes things harder. A patient of mine pushed back on this. She asked if she should accept the holocaust. Of course this like the destruction of the environment, abandonment of children, the Supreme Court- the list is endless are not acceptable. The practice that I think that you are writing about is what happens in us when, nevertheless, we do.
I'm finding it provocative that several people have mentioned that my remarks on empathy call for something else, something more. See Joel's comment below. I was thinking of the experience in more relational terms. I appreciate what you're saying about accepting what happened to me and I'm intrigued by my discovery that something happened to the insects as well.
Dearest Susie. This is another of your far ranging, mind and heart opening reflections that has me, from one sentence to another, smiling and then tearful. How I love companioning you in your thoughtful experiences of your daily life. You are so honest, so willing to learn. And so you teach me. In glorious language and imagery. Thank you.
You are a gift. Walking with you in our adventures in spirit and growth makes the sometimes strenuous climb less arduous.
I think this is part of empathy, understanding why someone might behave as they did, even if it harms you. Not hating them for just being who they are, they can't help it, can they? It's their nature. And all of us have a nature that might offend another. An essential step further, which you touched on, is grace - not punishing them for the harm they caused, either by lashing out in revenge or by holding hate in your heart. It doesn't lessen your wound, but it eases the burden you carry, keeping you from bitterness and resentment.
It's really true, Joel, that not holding on to hate lessens the burden one carries. I'm finding this even with my own body. If I feel compassion for my hip when it hurts instead of being angry at it, the hurt softens.
I applaud your insight, but I'm not prepared to extend feelings of empathy to mosquitoes.
It's just a new perspective, Don. I'm not trying to be holier than thou....but I really did learn something from the experience. I imagined myself invaded by something loud that was trying to kill me and it gave me pause.