Thank you, Laura. These situations are complicated and don't lend them selves to simple explanation. In fact, I try not to explain at all....Rather just suggest the various layers of experience.
You say "when I become aware of my own experience, I want in that moment to notice it, to name it, and from time to time to share it."
I am so truly glad for this desire in you, Susie, for your far-ranging perspectives and awarenesses are simply gold to read.
I love knowing more about your mother, the prettiest girl in any crowd, who sort of saw life as phase to be gotten through, what you received from her, and didn't.
Your piece relieved a bit of guilt of feeling my own mother in the distant past. She died 27 years ago. Her coping mechanism was ostrich-like denial. Let's not speak of it and it will go away. Having worked in a factory all her life, she was so proud I worked "in an office."
It's easy to forget the struggles of people who had no way to express their anguish. They were heroic in their way....but our work has been to bring everything to the surface and that's been painful as well.
That was a particularly moving piece--such a delicate balance between failures and love. My mother was a product of the "men don't like women who are too smart" so I never really knew what potential lay beneath the surface; she had so cut herself off from herself that who she really was or might have been had long been buried under who she thought she was supposed to be. A loss to both of us, but there was still love....
That jaundiced piece of advice..."men don't like women who are too smart"...was widely believed and was, in fact, passed down to me. I'm finding there's a great value in looking at my mother from different angles. Time has allowed for that.
I always love your writing, but this piece touches my own feelings of being abandoned. Covid has been difficult.... I have somehow found my way to what for me is truly important in life... It has nothing to do with the American Dream... it is far more about finding comfort in the moment and finally “Seeing” who many of the people in my life truly are. Thank you!
Thank you, Laura. These situations are complicated and don't lend them selves to simple explanation. In fact, I try not to explain at all....Rather just suggest the various layers of experience.
Loved this, so complicated, moms and daughters, wow! I love your writing, your mind, your memories and the practiced way you express.
You say "when I become aware of my own experience, I want in that moment to notice it, to name it, and from time to time to share it."
I am so truly glad for this desire in you, Susie, for your far-ranging perspectives and awarenesses are simply gold to read.
I love knowing more about your mother, the prettiest girl in any crowd, who sort of saw life as phase to be gotten through, what you received from her, and didn't.
What a miraculous writer you are. Much love
It's remarkable to me that even as she fades in my memory after fifteen years, her deeper presence continues to be felt and understood more fully.
Susie, your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us.
The response encourages more expression from deep down. Thank you for adding your appreciation.
Your piece relieved a bit of guilt of feeling my own mother in the distant past. She died 27 years ago. Her coping mechanism was ostrich-like denial. Let's not speak of it and it will go away. Having worked in a factory all her life, she was so proud I worked "in an office."
It's easy to forget the struggles of people who had no way to express their anguish. They were heroic in their way....but our work has been to bring everything to the surface and that's been painful as well.
i feel you..
Thank you, Barbara, and thank you for your writing.
That was a particularly moving piece--such a delicate balance between failures and love. My mother was a product of the "men don't like women who are too smart" so I never really knew what potential lay beneath the surface; she had so cut herself off from herself that who she really was or might have been had long been buried under who she thought she was supposed to be. A loss to both of us, but there was still love....
That jaundiced piece of advice..."men don't like women who are too smart"...was widely believed and was, in fact, passed down to me. I'm finding there's a great value in looking at my mother from different angles. Time has allowed for that.
On the mark as always, touches a delicate nerve.
Thank you. I'm feeling more love for her now that I don't have to idealize her.
I always love your writing, but this piece touches my own feelings of being abandoned. Covid has been difficult.... I have somehow found my way to what for me is truly important in life... It has nothing to do with the American Dream... it is far more about finding comfort in the moment and finally “Seeing” who many of the people in my life truly are. Thank you!
It seems to be so challenging to "see" people through our long mythologizing of them. But when they come into focus, they are so much more real.