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Bryan Demchinsky's avatar

There's always a line in your posts that sums up the way forward: "As long as I’m breathing, I will be non-compliant." To that I add the words of Bertolt Brecht, someone who knew about living in a perilous time and place:

"In the dark times

Will there also be singing?

Yes, there will also be singing.

About the dark times.”

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Wonderful, Bryan. A bow to Mother Courage.

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Ann Richardson's avatar

Well written post. I couldn’t see how to DM you (possibly ineptness on my part) but I would be interested in submitting a post for your site. You can see on my page that I write about lots of different things, including growing older (just turned 83), lots of emotional stuff but also research undertaken at different points in my life. I have written a book about hospice care (Life in a Hospice) and could take some interesting material from that (see, for instance, https://arichardson.substack.com/p/what-can-we-learn-from-a-hospice and https://arichardson.substack.com/p/life-in-a-hospice-the-view-of-a-healthcare). There’s plenty left. I also write about being a grandmother. Do get in touch.

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Judith Posner's avatar

Perfect, Susie, and I only think about it 75% of the time. Probably because I am an American who lives in Canada.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

I hope you're doing something goofy and self-indulgent the rest of the time.

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mary russell's avatar

Thank you for your passion, your laments and rage. These are shared but not as well articulated.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

It's a real seesaw, Mary. I'm trying to witness that and not judge myself when I can't sustain the outrage.

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Mary Kate Jordan's avatar

Rage, lament and crabapple blossoms in the Sierras. Those flowers promise so much. ♥️

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

They were very beautiful, but so short-lived. What else is new?

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Caroline Forsman's avatar

The idea of changing seasons at work everyday is one which I need help remembering, so thank you for that, Susie. I’m reminded of the joke about windshield wipers and the observation - they’re working! they’re not working, they’re working! I get discouraged every time my courage or clarity or energy or love isn’t working, but your piece (bad joke arising) brings me peace, seriously, and gathers all in like a hen gathering her helterskelter chicks. You also started a collective conversation I enjoyed reading.

So grateful, Caroline Forsman in the Berkshires

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Very glad to hear from you. Especially as you bring my beloved Berkshires back to me. We do ourselves a disservice if we expect to respond to what's happening around us as if it's an ordinary "day at the office." That expectation itself drains us. Let's be good to each other and to ourselves. We will be called to help.

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Karen Holby's avatar

Thank you for saying what I’m feeling! Confusion, despair, anger, disbelief!

Nightmare! Your words let me know I’m not alone.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Karen....We are a living organism experiencing the entire range of feelings. The situation is extreme and calls forth extreme response.

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Fifi's avatar

Remember that you are resilient.

Remember, too, not to give your power to those behaving so excruciatingly badly, wherever they are. You are needed in tip top condition, not bludgeoned into a sense of futility. Sending love.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Thank you, Fifi, for your apt reminders and support. I find that I have to let some of the despair trickle in from time to time lest my smile muscles start to freeze in place. The more I practice, the more I'm able to feel all of it.

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Fifi's avatar

Of course, you remain human, thankfully!

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Jinks Hoffmann's avatar

Thank you for sharing the whole panoply of your feelings in these surreal days, and for creating the space where we can join you in lament and rage and even glimmers of future activism.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

My guess is that there will be responses that are completely unfamiliar and unpredictable. Surreal.

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Mark Rose's avatar

Beautiful Thank you

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Much appreciated.

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Marcia Richman's avatar

I am a second generation Holocaust survivor. My father always thought we should have gold so we could buy ourselves out of such misfortunes as we are nigh experiencing today. When he came for the Kennedy Center I knew we were in big trouble.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

It's a very broken record being played by someone who is insatiable. He wants all of it and we will have to deny him. It's a steep learning curve even, perhaps, for someone with your deep experience. Thank you for being part of this exploration.

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Carol Sill's avatar

thank you. "Be brave some of the time" - yes, I think that is how it is actually done!

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

I think each time that happens it bolsters one's capacity for the next time.

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Stella Fosse's avatar

Yes, exactly. We have the history to find all this disturbingly familiar.

Well written. Thank you!

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Thanks for writing, Stella. Our awareness will be a contribution to the resistance. I'm sure of it.

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Sandy Gerber's avatar

I love your summing up of the history that informs our beings--we of the post- WWII, Vietnam War, Black liberation, multiple freedom movements-- generation. The viciousness and comprehensiveness of the undoing is breathtaking. They thoroughly studied who we are and prepared for it, climaxing in their Project 2025 document. I too wush I could wake up from this nightmare - then I think about the brave warriors in the Abraham Lincoln Brigade who were moved to fight Franco

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

I have friends whose fathers fought in Spain. They were remarkable. "Undoing" is a great word for what's happening to all of us. You and I and the legion of elders on the left have to channel our energy to do what we can that's doable at our age.

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Sharon Coleman's avatar

Dear Susie;

Thank you for this piece, which says it all. To share my reactions, I seem to easily go straight to grief. Things have always been unjust and imperfect but now it seems that a collective caring to try to make things better has disappeared. Like you, I have the desire and willingness to fight. Yet there is so much confusion and disorientation swirling inside and outside of me that I don't yet have the readiness. I hope for clarity around the best actions to take. Right now, resistance efforts seem piecemeal. The public figures who have been our heroes in the past seem stymied and blocked themselves. Something's gotta give and when the time comes I want to go in fighting, even at risk to my safety. I think that the worse things get, the greater will be the need for warrior courage.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

I like the idea of hoping (praying) for clarity. That seems like a constructive way to approach the overwhelming horror and confusion which, I might add, is intentional. They want us to be at a loss, so praying for clarity seems like a very wise way to go.

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Linda Kaye-Moses's avatar

Susie, May I share this, with or without your name, on fb? It so echos what so many of us are experiencing, and I am so grateful for your words, as I know others will be. Linda

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Linda....I would really appreciate it if you would share my writing on fb with attribution. It's kind of you to offer.

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