31 Comments

Far from home but closer to myself... What a provocative and generative closing line. Thanks for another peek into your past and present world, Susie, and, again, a wonderful read.

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The dream is a little out there, but then that's what dreams are for. Thank you for "generative" and for your attention to my writing.

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You write so amazingly well. I love how age gives us clarity as well as the tinnitus.

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Thank you. I feel very fortunate that the scales have balanced in my favor,

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Maybe, but it got me thinking.

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That’s a dream to keep you busy for the rest of your days! I’m not sure I completely understand this piece. It feels like there is so much unsaid, shadows just out of my reach. It’s a complicated and very smart essay!

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There's always a fine line between deep/complex and just complicated and unintelligible. This one may have been leaning a little too far in the latter direction.

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What a dream to have recurring! Almost cartoon-like, and yet so ominous. Do you know or want to share the significance of going down a steep hill? It seems to me that dreams which feature going UP a steep hill are more common. Don’t know for sure, of course. Also I remember your saying you are an Enneagram 2. Since 4 is the growth mode for 2’s, you are really into your growth mode!

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It's a doozy, isn't it? I'd love to go deeper with the Enneagram. It's always fascinated me. At present, I'm a rank beginner. Don't really understand your reference to 4. The four hippos? Happy to answer your question about going down a steep hill. It could be the centerpiece, overshadowed by the flashy zoo animals. My sister who is ten years older than I am famously went down the gravely hill going into Riverside Park and wiped out. This may very well have happened before I was born but it was a gripping and grisly story in my mind. Also....the hippos remind me of Ferdinand the Bull. Do you remember him?

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Each enneagram type has a growth mode and a stress mode which tend to make us behave more like specific other types. Your growth mode means that you take on the better, stronger features of type 4 (which is called “the individualist” whereas type 2 is called “the helper”). Our stress mode causes us to take on the less developed features of whichever type applies to us. And right now I remember Ferdinand the Bull’s name but not F himself. I’ll put him in the search box 🤗.

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Ferdinand was a mild-mannered pacifist bull who was bitten by a wasp when the bullfight promoters were out scouting. They thought he was ferocious, but when he got in the bull ring all he wanted to do was smell the flowers. Thank you for your explanation of the growth mode. I can feel myself shifting in the way I deal with my "helper" mode.

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Oh! How could I forget?!

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I love your tenderness for yourself in this one.

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Thank you, love. I like the view from here....the distance, the wide angle vision.

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Nothing like that when I was there. Perhaps you’re thinking of the Apthorp? Or before I got there.

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Your last sentence really touched me. Thanks for the walk down life’s memory lane.

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And thanks for the walk in "our park."

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Nope. We were on the ground floor and no stores or restaurants nearby.

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I was thinking of the barbecue chicken place.

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I didn’t grow up in Manhattan. My first apartment after graduation was a share at at The Belnord. I later lived on East 83rd.

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Great aromas wafting up into your place at The Belnord, yes?

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You've done it again Susie. Especially in your last line about growing old and closer to yourself. I was also never much interested in parades. And my middle name is Susan. I wonder if this means something...

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Well, I'm a meaning-maker by natural disposition so I'm willing to put some weight behind the Susan thesis. Also, I've started (at this late date) using the name Susan...at least legally. It gives me some gravitas, don't you think?

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I'm sure many of us can identify with this evocative piece. BTW, I, too, have lived on 83rd Street. Where exactly were you?

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I grew up at 222 W. 83rd on the southeast corner of Broadway. You?

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Your growing-up address never really registered with me before. I lived in the park block of W 83rd for the length of a 2-year lease in the 70's.

The calendar 70s, not mine...

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You mean between Columbus and Central Park West? WOW. My family home was two blocks from there. I was gone by the '70s but my parents were both there until 1978 when my father died. My mother lived there much longer (can no longer remember the year).

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Yes, that’s the block I mean. One word: Zabar’s. OK, 2 more words: Zabar’s Kona coffee… and the Sunday brunch fixings… oh my, food nostalgia! We have SO many crossings, Susie. And I didn’t know you’d lived on Division Street in GB… grinning here.

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We had a Bed & Breakfast, Greenmeadows, in the big blue house on the left side going towards Alford, 1/4 mile past route 41. Lived there for 20 years...1984-2004. Were you also on Division? My first memory of you was at a workshop sponsored by Rimon that was held at the Chapel of the Church on the Hill in Lenox. Very intense day.

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Came into life preWW2, grew up in the 40s and 50s (and beyond) as a chameleon, blasted out of the sticky thicket in my 40's and landed on dry land in my 80's. You described so well my journey, metaphorically and perceptively. Thank you.

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Thank you for writing, Mary. It occurs to me that my mother's expectations were wildly out of whack. She wanted me to be ladylike but also outgoing, gregarious. I wanted to wallow in the mud like a hippo.

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