35 Comments
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Rita C's avatar

Beautiful piece. …”That’s what makes being alive both so dark and radiant”…

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Thank you for commenting on that particular phrase. I hold that deeply.

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Mary Kate Jordan's avatar

Always in transit, never arriving. What a potent walk through darkness and radiance, Susie; and kiudos to your mother and to you. Today's 6 months to my next birthday so now I'm just a few hours closer to 79 than 78. A little behind you but on the same dance floor. Cha cha cha!

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

What kind of dancing did you do back in the day? I was taken by the fact that everyone at the club in Berkeley was dancing by themselves facing the band. It was an interchange between the patrons and the musicians. I don't remember that. I do like to dance by myself but also with one other person and a whole group of other people. Your birthday is September 12? That's my anniversary!

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Pam's avatar

Welp, I don't know why I have goosebumps on reading this one. The clarity is not in my mind. But the recognition is in my body. Deep breath noticing the tingling over my skin. Yep. there's a gift here and I am receiving it. Thank you.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

It's very encouraging to hear that, Pam. I found this to be a complicated subject to take on and I wasn't sure I was successful.

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Mary Russell's avatar

"Aways in transit, never arriving." Five words that succinctly describe the process of living.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

All spiritual practices seem to be aimed at learning that, don't you think?

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Judith Posner's avatar

another fantastic column. Just when you think you are getting it and adapting well, another wave slaps you around. And you never know beforehand where it will take you.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

We are all swimming in the same stream. My insight today was that that applies to people of all ages. They may not be thinking about it as much as older people do but they're treading water just the same.

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Ann Richardson's avatar

I wouldn't let yourself be embarrassed about people who call you old or think you are in your 80s. Sounds like you were having a good time. Have it. Don't care what others think. I tell everyone I am 83 - even a French chef in a post that will be coming your way on Saturday - with a very surprising outcome.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Looking forward to the vicarious opportunity to eat la cuisine française.

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Jinks Hoffmann's avatar

You just don’t know. This is central to what life is. No matter how much we contemplate our experience, no matter how mindful we are, we enter every day - every moment - innocent of what will happen next and that’s what makes being alive both so dark and so radiant at the same time.

You have just summarized, in these few exquisite words, dear Susie, a big, life-organizing dream I had many years ago, as well as my passionate attitude to living. I especially love the last several words you write.

Here's my dream: I am to row alone to an island, on God's holy day. To plant seeds, of uncertainty and unknowing.

Bless you for your thinking and writing.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Jinks....I know your rowing dream and have incorporated it into my storehouse of deep images. Sometimes we have to borrow other people's dreams, don't you think?

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Jinks Hoffmann's avatar

Yes, I absolutely believe that some dreams are meant to be kind of universal. In fact, I had a dream once that told me just that!

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Michele Cambardella's avatar

"We are in an ongoing negotiation with one another, with aging, with transformation. Always in transit, never arriving." So very hopeful!

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Never arriving is difficult for us to negotiate. It runs against the grain of all of western thinking for hundreds of years.

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Michele Cambardella's avatar

Very glad I found your work, Susie.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

It's a form of magic when that happens.

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Michele Cambardella's avatar

“This is central to what life is. No matter how much we contemplate our experience, no matter how mindful we are, we enter every day - every moment - innocent of what will happen next and that’s what makes being alive both so dark and so radiant at the same time.” This. So moving.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

It seems to be the core of spiritual practice...To re-orient ourselves to impermanence and understand that we are always and forever starting over again.

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Michele Cambardella's avatar

That’s freeing.

It helps me “be” rather than “do.”

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

It lifts a great weight off my shoulders.

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Michele Cambardella's avatar

yes. And as you said, I have to rinse and repeat as needed! Best regards

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Jasmine Gage's avatar

I used to tell people I was older...then they'd say you look great for your age....

now I can't remember....

Bless you ..your writing always lifts my spirits and improves my mind

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Wonderful to hear from you, Jasmine. I always thought "you look good for your age" was a kind of backhanded compliment.

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Frank Gioia's avatar

Great piece

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

We are certainly always in transit, literally and figuratively..

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Deborah Thompson's avatar

Hi Susie :) I will be 64 in June this year - if I make it (lol). I have inoperable Ovarian Cancer and although it seem I am doing “ok” according to my Oncologist and Nurse Practitioner, I never assume or interpret that as meaning “you have a lot of time left”. I have always told people my age without qualm, and always will. I always hope they’ll think “Wow, she looks way younger!” But in reality, why should we care what some stranger or casual acquaintance might think about us? I am enjoying your posts and I hope you might come by to Subscribe to my stack, The Wistful Neo-Druid. Nice to meet you!

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

Hi Deborah......I read your piece on being a Neo-Druid and found it appropriately enchanting. You have a unique perspective that will no doubt find many readers. Wishing you many blessings as you meet your health challenges.

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Paula Halpin's avatar

I like what French writer Jules Renard said about aging: "It is not how old you are, but how you are old."

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

What does that mean to you, Paula?

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Paula Halpin's avatar

To me it is about living our best life whatever our age.

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Peggy Braun's avatar

I've thought many times about the unknowing of life; mostly we don't know that we don't know because there seems so much continuity between one day and the next and some changes in life sort of gently slide into one another but others are abrupt and shocking and there's no way to prepare. We'd be more alive if we really knew how uncertain life really is--just look at our current political situation--my God, who would have known how bad things could get and it's just starting.

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Susie Kaufman's avatar

I appreciate your point about the seeming continuity of life. It puts us in a trance.

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