This may be my very favorite of all your essays, dear Susie, and that is saying a lot. Your Susie-ness, especially the vulnerable, open part, simply shines through your 3 C's, which which I identify enormously. As I have often said to you, "Consciousness is my gig."
Susie, your words are never 'flat and tired'. Far from it! The community I feel with you is an inner connection, every bit as real as the many different kinds of outer communities that ebb and flow in life. Thank you again!
Hi Susie. Community, indeed. I am so aware especially during these crazy times, of the need for connection with like minded people. With that in mind, I gathered a group of women of a certain age to talk about the aging process , the joys and challenges, and of death and dying. We’ve met three times now and I already feel the treasure of connectedness that can be so sweet with women willing to share at the heart level. Your dear friend, Peggy, is in the group. I have shared your Substack with the group and with so many of my women friends. I always look forward to your heartfelt murmurings. Thank you.
Thank you, Karen. It has been very helpful for me to expand my understanding of community and to notice it happening. This is very different from formally joining a pre-existing entity. I feel better with a fluid definition what community might be.
Susie, thank you once again for the eloquent way you touch on such universal topics and emotions. Your thoughts on community particularly spoke to me. I have very similar feelings and really appreciated hearing your perspective on how so many seemingly small things represent community. Gave me things to ponder!
My dear and somewhat new friend, Susie: I found your 3 C's worthy spiritual goals, but often difficult to achieve. It helps that we've slowed down as we age, not out of choice but because our bodies demand it. I participate in several communities, some more crucial to my well-being than others, which can be more of a hassle than a delight. As a born extrovert, I have aged into more introversion (similar to your experience as a chaplain). I still share rather vulnerably, but I listen more too, and learn from both. I used to be 5'3" and now have to use my best posture to remain above 5'0" ... on a more serious note, please give Frank my condolences as he loses his brother to eternity.
The slowing down for me is more voluntary. I greatly value maintaining a contemplative posture...do not want to be running around. Staying slow allows me to be mindful and connect to communities, including communities of two such as us. Thank you for your kind words about my brother-in-lawn, Joe. He's been sick for so long, it's hard to know what his plans are. I'm very glad to share all this with you and hope you'll write soon about my thoughts on your writing.
the sense of "going it alone" is very American, built into our culture, the maverick, and the root of why so many folks in our country think they don't need the government. Alas. We ALL overthink too much when we're younger. The noblest of intentions. And, it can take us further from the center than where we started.
It sounds like your brother is making his transition. My heart is with you and your family. You are not alone. Love surrounds you.
I've been thinking a lot lately about American rugged individualism and the harm it's done to our culture. I'm speculating that overthinking may be another form of the same self-isolation and self-protection. I had no idea that I would be blessed with a way out of that bind. Thank you for your kind remarks about my brother-in-law.
Love your three C's. I am living in a community now, as you know, and it supports me and sometimes irritates me. I feel very compassionate about some things and not very compassionate about others, so I still live with the human strengths and failings, but your three Cs are my guiding stars.
I wonder if the senior living situation you're in now feels different from other communities that you've been involved in...spiritual, artistic, family...? I've always felt battered by the word community..Yet another thing that I'm not good at. But separating it out from rules and committees and all sorts of expectations has been very helpful.
I took a few minutes off from struggling with the Hebrew - never mind the discordancies - in the Chichester Psalms (which my choir is singing and I need to practise) to read your post. And, I apologise, I know you would like a response to all your deep thoughts, but my feet are firmly on the ground. Did you grow up on East 83rd or West 83rd? I lived at 544 East 86th Street (the last building before East End Avenue and Karl Schurz Park) through most of the 1950s and I just thought that was a huge coincidence. But if you were West 83rd, that is a foreign country!!
Foreign indeed. I grew up at 222 W. 83rd on the southeast corner of Broadway. Lived there through my entire childhood. My father, on the other hand, grew up across the park in Yorkville on 83rd street and First or Second Avenue. Can't remember which. Feel free to send the Hebrew in translation in the event that I might be able to help with the pronunciation.
Funny how NYC divides East and West. In London, it is North and South of the river. As for the Hebrew, we were given a guide to pronunciation, but some of it is a kind of tongue-twister and I worked hard to be able to say it, but then trying to put it to difficult music was a step too far. I'm getting there slowly.
I work hard to be a good choir member but I also work hard because I am short and therefore always in the front row! Visible! No hiding. Scary. And I am still struggling to sing the tongue twisters!
My fault. I did the gmail thing again. Resent.
the three c's - wonderful - I also think in triangles - the tricky part is that they are usually isosceles and not equilateral - thankyou!
Three exerts such power. I suspect equilateral is bogus.
This may be my very favorite of all your essays, dear Susie, and that is saying a lot. Your Susie-ness, especially the vulnerable, open part, simply shines through your 3 C's, which which I identify enormously. As I have often said to you, "Consciousness is my gig."
A joy to share all this with you, Jinks.
Susie, your words are never 'flat and tired'. Far from it! The community I feel with you is an inner connection, every bit as real as the many different kinds of outer communities that ebb and flow in life. Thank you again!
I gladly concur, Signe. Our friendship defies the notion that it's not possible to really get to know someone late in life. What a blessing!
Hi Susie. Community, indeed. I am so aware especially during these crazy times, of the need for connection with like minded people. With that in mind, I gathered a group of women of a certain age to talk about the aging process , the joys and challenges, and of death and dying. We’ve met three times now and I already feel the treasure of connectedness that can be so sweet with women willing to share at the heart level. Your dear friend, Peggy, is in the group. I have shared your Substack with the group and with so many of my women friends. I always look forward to your heartfelt murmurings. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Elaine, for sharing my writing. Peggy (a very dear friend) mentioned the group to me and it sounds wonderful.
I love what you've written - especially about community. So well expressed. Thank you.
Thank you, Karen. It has been very helpful for me to expand my understanding of community and to notice it happening. This is very different from formally joining a pre-existing entity. I feel better with a fluid definition what community might be.
Susie, thank you once again for the eloquent way you touch on such universal topics and emotions. Your thoughts on community particularly spoke to me. I have very similar feelings and really appreciated hearing your perspective on how so many seemingly small things represent community. Gave me things to ponder!
I'm very touched by your response, Renée. These conversations are more important than ever now.
My dear and somewhat new friend, Susie: I found your 3 C's worthy spiritual goals, but often difficult to achieve. It helps that we've slowed down as we age, not out of choice but because our bodies demand it. I participate in several communities, some more crucial to my well-being than others, which can be more of a hassle than a delight. As a born extrovert, I have aged into more introversion (similar to your experience as a chaplain). I still share rather vulnerably, but I listen more too, and learn from both. I used to be 5'3" and now have to use my best posture to remain above 5'0" ... on a more serious note, please give Frank my condolences as he loses his brother to eternity.
The slowing down for me is more voluntary. I greatly value maintaining a contemplative posture...do not want to be running around. Staying slow allows me to be mindful and connect to communities, including communities of two such as us. Thank you for your kind words about my brother-in-lawn, Joe. He's been sick for so long, it's hard to know what his plans are. I'm very glad to share all this with you and hope you'll write soon about my thoughts on your writing.
Did you send me your thoughts about my book and I missed them?
Love this post. I’ve shared it with many friends. Thank you.
Thank you so much! Stay in touch.
the sense of "going it alone" is very American, built into our culture, the maverick, and the root of why so many folks in our country think they don't need the government. Alas. We ALL overthink too much when we're younger. The noblest of intentions. And, it can take us further from the center than where we started.
It sounds like your brother is making his transition. My heart is with you and your family. You are not alone. Love surrounds you.
I've been thinking a lot lately about American rugged individualism and the harm it's done to our culture. I'm speculating that overthinking may be another form of the same self-isolation and self-protection. I had no idea that I would be blessed with a way out of that bind. Thank you for your kind remarks about my brother-in-law.
Love your three C's. I am living in a community now, as you know, and it supports me and sometimes irritates me. I feel very compassionate about some things and not very compassionate about others, so I still live with the human strengths and failings, but your three Cs are my guiding stars.
I wonder if the senior living situation you're in now feels different from other communities that you've been involved in...spiritual, artistic, family...? I've always felt battered by the word community..Yet another thing that I'm not good at. But separating it out from rules and committees and all sorts of expectations has been very helpful.
I took a few minutes off from struggling with the Hebrew - never mind the discordancies - in the Chichester Psalms (which my choir is singing and I need to practise) to read your post. And, I apologise, I know you would like a response to all your deep thoughts, but my feet are firmly on the ground. Did you grow up on East 83rd or West 83rd? I lived at 544 East 86th Street (the last building before East End Avenue and Karl Schurz Park) through most of the 1950s and I just thought that was a huge coincidence. But if you were West 83rd, that is a foreign country!!
Foreign indeed. I grew up at 222 W. 83rd on the southeast corner of Broadway. Lived there through my entire childhood. My father, on the other hand, grew up across the park in Yorkville on 83rd street and First or Second Avenue. Can't remember which. Feel free to send the Hebrew in translation in the event that I might be able to help with the pronunciation.
Funny how NYC divides East and West. In London, it is North and South of the river. As for the Hebrew, we were given a guide to pronunciation, but some of it is a kind of tongue-twister and I worked hard to be able to say it, but then trying to put it to difficult music was a step too far. I'm getting there slowly.
Congratulations and many blessings on all your hard work.
I work hard to be a good choir member but I also work hard because I am short and therefore always in the front row! Visible! No hiding. Scary. And I am still struggling to sing the tongue twisters!
Short people have to stick together.
Is that you, too? I used to be 5 feet but have been shrinking.