Rabbi Rami Shapiro asked Father Thomas Keating, “How are you preparing for death?” Father Keating replied, “The same way I’ve lived my life: by emptying myself of Thomas moment to moment.”
Beautiful, Susie. I pondered your words. When one loses a child one loses oneself - seemingly. Unlike the Fr. Keatings of the world who may lose “Thomas” a little at a time. I know that I am not the same person I was when Chris was alive - I died in one fell swoop with Chris. BUT - that is not the final word - for Chris or for me! I am finding or rather creating or rather being recreated into a much more compassionate, real and honest human being who knows that my reuniting with Chris and with all who have walked before me - begins today - it is not some far off dream that I yearn and sigh for now. It is when I serve the poor and remember how Chris gave money to the homeless and then said “thank you” to them. It is when I forgive a grievance that so wants to fall from the tree of “holding on” - it is when I can rejoice in others families and grandchildren and not be resentful that it was taken from me. I can expand and expand as I lose Patty and become Patty……….does that make sense??🤔
It makes all the sense in the world. I love your use of the word "recreated." And I love the idea of reuniting in the present through love, essentially. It confirms my belief that heaven is now. You said it so clearly and succinctly..."I can expand and expand as I lose Patty and become Patty."
Susie, Thank you for this wonderful piece! And now, you aren't in the Berkshires anymore... I hope you are settling well in Minnesota. I have missed seeing you in the last years. I'm glad you are still writing pieces like this!
Signe! How wonderful to hear from you. Minnesota is good for me and good for my writing. We are, however, leaving for California for the winter on the 7th. Will you be going to Hawaii this year? Hoping you and all the family are well.
Love this post—every sentence, word, punctuation mark. He rope metaphor is new to me, but I will keep it in mind everyday. At 75, I find it true—the more I let go of my Betsyness, the more expansive my world.
Thanks, Betsy. I'm experimenting with "I am you and you are me" in situations where I rub up against someone else's "is-ness." It's palliative if not curative.
Susie, this is a masterpiece. You've taken an impossible paradox and made it simple to understand.
Don't you just love paradox? Personally, I can't live without it. Thanks for joining me.
Beautiful, Susie. I pondered your words. When one loses a child one loses oneself - seemingly. Unlike the Fr. Keatings of the world who may lose “Thomas” a little at a time. I know that I am not the same person I was when Chris was alive - I died in one fell swoop with Chris. BUT - that is not the final word - for Chris or for me! I am finding or rather creating or rather being recreated into a much more compassionate, real and honest human being who knows that my reuniting with Chris and with all who have walked before me - begins today - it is not some far off dream that I yearn and sigh for now. It is when I serve the poor and remember how Chris gave money to the homeless and then said “thank you” to them. It is when I forgive a grievance that so wants to fall from the tree of “holding on” - it is when I can rejoice in others families and grandchildren and not be resentful that it was taken from me. I can expand and expand as I lose Patty and become Patty……….does that make sense??🤔
It makes all the sense in the world. I love your use of the word "recreated." And I love the idea of reuniting in the present through love, essentially. It confirms my belief that heaven is now. You said it so clearly and succinctly..."I can expand and expand as I lose Patty and become Patty."
Susie, Thank you for this wonderful piece! And now, you aren't in the Berkshires anymore... I hope you are settling well in Minnesota. I have missed seeing you in the last years. I'm glad you are still writing pieces like this!
Signe! How wonderful to hear from you. Minnesota is good for me and good for my writing. We are, however, leaving for California for the winter on the 7th. Will you be going to Hawaii this year? Hoping you and all the family are well.
Yes, we leave Dec 20. I'm glad to know where you are, and hope we will see each other some day, some where...
I practiced that when we moved to GB. It helped me feel less like an outsider. 💚
Love this post—every sentence, word, punctuation mark. He rope metaphor is new to me, but I will keep it in mind everyday. At 75, I find it true—the more I let go of my Betsyness, the more expansive my world.
Thanks, Betsy. I'm experimenting with "I am you and you are me" in situations where I rub up against someone else's "is-ness." It's palliative if not curative.
Thank you Susie for your reflections--I so much relate. I love paradox ---that's life, isn't it? And your imagery makes your words come alive.
Enjoy this day of Thanksgiving!
Love,
Ani
So glad to hear from you, Ani. Feeling very blessed this Thanksgiving. Wishing you and Bill a joyous day.
I love this piece, Susie, and I also love the dialogue you are having with your responders. I also think that paradox is the real deal.
I've often thought the ability to tolerate - indeed celebrate - paradox and ambiguity is the hallmark of engaged thinking.
Sweet and wonderful post Susie thanks🙏🏻❤️ Hope all is well in Minnesota. Your essay reminded me of one of my favorite pieces of David Whyte:
The only choice we have as we mature
is how we inhabit our vulnerability,
how we become larger and more courageous
and more compassionate through our
intimacy with disappearance
David Whyte
Oh disappearance is a wonderful word. Leave it to David Whyte....and you for being such a dear friend.