Susie, this, "I can’t explain my theological relationship to these words but they work and that’s what counts when you have lost all control." And this, "Nowhere is it written that I would see this moon over this water. Pure dumb luck." And this, Susie, made me cry. "But I do not see a God I can appeal to to spare us. I see only us and the water and the fish and that is the God I know and that knows me, a kind of paradise." What a beautiful, beautiful post on being human and part of divinity all at the same time. xoxo
Is any one of us not feeling survivor's guilt right now? We've all become rubberneckers at one tragedy or another. The Internet is ablaze with vicious, crackpot conspiracy theories. Yet it may just be a matter of wrong place, wrong time, after all. The wrong places are multiplying at a geometric rate: Avoid flood zones. And fire zones. And tornado zones. And war zones. And places where assault weapons are freely available, which is: America. Avoid everything. Meditate. Make art. Hold loved ones close. Stand back as a convicted felon bent on overthrowing this democracy takes office.
There's no arguing with your observations. If we are all collapsing under the weight of survivor's guilt, we had best learn how to survive. I sometimes have overblown fantasies of sticking my neck out and waiting for someone to chop my head off. But where's the value in that?
I believe surviving and behaving like a good citizen means our necks are already out. Don't worry about having your head chopped off; worry about the other 51% who already have.
I bow to the buddha hanging on to gratitude within the loo over the fires, relaxing into plates full of tuna and sea bass, writing this post, contemplating impermanence, embracing the clarity of the landscape, chatting in the cobalt-tiled pool overlooking the Sea if Cortes. And within each of us as we read, respond or don’t.
I loved reading about your experience of being in that plane's loo with your pants down, clinging to the side rail during all that turbulence and remembering, and then repeating that prayer. It's astonishing what we can draw up from the memory bank of early religious indoctrination when in a state of terror. I am able to quickly remember the Catholic prayer to guardian angels in an instant on bumpy plane flights but can barely remember its words at other times. I am glad you had the lovely experience of the moon over the water after your holiday's rocky start. Nature speaks to me too now that I am at the pointy end of life.
Good to hear from you, Lee. I think the mantra is my version of the Jewish prayer Modah Ani which gives thanks for the opening of the eyes in the morning. Another day in this life. Holy One of Being comes out of some deep place in me that I don't remember "learning." You reminded me of a prayer invoking Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and Raphael. Are those the very same guardian angels? It's good to have this library of incantations even if we don't live with them every day.
Susie, as normal, you capture moments well. All seem relatable to one's life. I'm on a team supporting a refugee family from Venezuela, getting them integrated into America. Standing 4 ours at a DMV line so they can get state ID Cards. Realizing why they need them; they are here legally but does that matter. Not knowing what the next week will bring. Mom and dad are 33, kids 14 and 5. They have all the dreams we had at that age with very little obstacles. So, as it gets dark each not hopefully the light with help them in the morning. Hopefully God understand that.
I'm grateful to you for helping this family, Daryl. It's wonderful that this is a team effort so all your outpouring of effort and caring is supported by your team members and appreciated by the Venezuelan family,.
I also often pray thank you when I am in trouble. That is after I have usually had a decent cry. So it goes something like this: tears, gratitude, closer connection to the great mystery which has awakened me again by doing life a little differently. Again.
I met a woman from Mexico City today who told me the world was still a beautiful place. We were both hanging on to the side of the pool looking out at the sea. I said, you feel that the world is a beautiful place even now? She said, yes...but she wanted very much to see snow.
Thank you, Rita. It's very important to me not to lose touch with the everyday tangible reality of being born and dying that is the same for all of us.
Your writing—and you—are a reliable treasure.
So wonderful to get to know you a little bit here.
Agreed! ❤️
Susie, this, "I can’t explain my theological relationship to these words but they work and that’s what counts when you have lost all control." And this, "Nowhere is it written that I would see this moon over this water. Pure dumb luck." And this, Susie, made me cry. "But I do not see a God I can appeal to to spare us. I see only us and the water and the fish and that is the God I know and that knows me, a kind of paradise." What a beautiful, beautiful post on being human and part of divinity all at the same time. xoxo
I'm very gratified that this speaks to you. I keep saying the same thing but that's what I have to say.
Is any one of us not feeling survivor's guilt right now? We've all become rubberneckers at one tragedy or another. The Internet is ablaze with vicious, crackpot conspiracy theories. Yet it may just be a matter of wrong place, wrong time, after all. The wrong places are multiplying at a geometric rate: Avoid flood zones. And fire zones. And tornado zones. And war zones. And places where assault weapons are freely available, which is: America. Avoid everything. Meditate. Make art. Hold loved ones close. Stand back as a convicted felon bent on overthrowing this democracy takes office.
There's no arguing with your observations. If we are all collapsing under the weight of survivor's guilt, we had best learn how to survive. I sometimes have overblown fantasies of sticking my neck out and waiting for someone to chop my head off. But where's the value in that?
I believe surviving and behaving like a good citizen means our necks are already out. Don't worry about having your head chopped off; worry about the other 51% who already have.
So much lost potential brain power and creativity.
I bow to the buddha hanging on to gratitude within the loo over the fires, relaxing into plates full of tuna and sea bass, writing this post, contemplating impermanence, embracing the clarity of the landscape, chatting in the cobalt-tiled pool overlooking the Sea if Cortes. And within each of us as we read, respond or don’t.
I am so honored by this response and I feel so heard.
👍♥️🙏
I loved reading about your experience of being in that plane's loo with your pants down, clinging to the side rail during all that turbulence and remembering, and then repeating that prayer. It's astonishing what we can draw up from the memory bank of early religious indoctrination when in a state of terror. I am able to quickly remember the Catholic prayer to guardian angels in an instant on bumpy plane flights but can barely remember its words at other times. I am glad you had the lovely experience of the moon over the water after your holiday's rocky start. Nature speaks to me too now that I am at the pointy end of life.
Good to hear from you, Lee. I think the mantra is my version of the Jewish prayer Modah Ani which gives thanks for the opening of the eyes in the morning. Another day in this life. Holy One of Being comes out of some deep place in me that I don't remember "learning." You reminded me of a prayer invoking Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and Raphael. Are those the very same guardian angels? It's good to have this library of incantations even if we don't live with them every day.
Susie, as normal, you capture moments well. All seem relatable to one's life. I'm on a team supporting a refugee family from Venezuela, getting them integrated into America. Standing 4 ours at a DMV line so they can get state ID Cards. Realizing why they need them; they are here legally but does that matter. Not knowing what the next week will bring. Mom and dad are 33, kids 14 and 5. They have all the dreams we had at that age with very little obstacles. So, as it gets dark each not hopefully the light with help them in the morning. Hopefully God understand that.
I'm grateful to you for helping this family, Daryl. It's wonderful that this is a team effort so all your outpouring of effort and caring is supported by your team members and appreciated by the Venezuelan family,.
I also often pray thank you when I am in trouble. That is after I have usually had a decent cry. So it goes something like this: tears, gratitude, closer connection to the great mystery which has awakened me again by doing life a little differently. Again.
As always, beautiful writing. Thank you, Susie.
I met a woman from Mexico City today who told me the world was still a beautiful place. We were both hanging on to the side of the pool looking out at the sea. I said, you feel that the world is a beautiful place even now? She said, yes...but she wanted very much to see snow.
Real and ethereal… God this is good🙏
Thank you, Rita. It's very important to me not to lose touch with the everyday tangible reality of being born and dying that is the same for all of us.